A few of my favorite things...

A few things I love about living in Romania. Some are serious "loves" and others are just funny mishaps.

1) Just because an item is pictured a certain way on the box, it does not mean it will look like that on the inside.
*When purchasing, let's say...a floating shelf for your kitchen wall that you found for a really great deal at your local grocery store, do not assume that because it shows 3 shelves in the picture, there will be 3 shelves in the box. In fact, expect one, very large shelf that neither looks good or goes with the decor in your kitchen.

2) Always check your stuff.
*After making sure that what you are going to purchase is actually indeed what you want to purchase (see #1), make sure that all the parts for said purchase are included in the box. Often times, they are magically "missing" from the box. Once I purchased a paper lamp that was missing the metal rods used to hold it up. Can't really have a lamp without the support for the shade, now can I?

3) It's okay to consume massive amounts of food...really, it's good for you!
*Seriously...what is up with the preservative pumped, chemical laden, poor quality of American food? Pretty much everything I've eaten in this country is better than the American counter-part. Even the Romanian version of Pizza Hut kicks some serious butt. And to thank me, my body is about 15 lbs lighter...or 6.8 kg. (And NO...it has nothing to do with walking more. We have cars.)

4) Always lock your door.
*Do this ESPECIALLY if your apartment once was a political office, or else the next time you step of the shower might prove to be a little embarrassing for your would-be supporters.

5) Double check the translation, or better yet, the translator.
*When wanting to say, "God Bless You" in Romanian, it's best to go with your instinct and not repeat the said phrase in another language. Be cautious, especially when those around you are snickering in amusement or else you might end up saying, "God Electrocute You."

6) If you think you're being too loud, everyone else probably agrees with you.
*In case you've never traveled outside of the United States...Americans in general, talk WAY louder than everyone else. It's actually quite embarrassing. EEK!

7) Coffee, or cafea, actually does the job it's supposed to and wakes me up in the morning!
*Side note: I've never had a headache like the one I had the morning I went without a cup of coffee. To quote a friend: one Romanian coffee is like 7 American coffees. I'm starting to believe her!

8) Watch where you step.
*While you may enjoy walking in the square to admire the architecture, watch where you step, or else you may run into some "good luck" (a.k.a. dog poop) or break your ankle. Neither of which I've experienced, Praise God!

9) If you see something you want, you better buy it.
*The old saying, "here today, gone tomorrow," is definitely at work here in Romania.

10) Don't take yourself so seriously.
*It's okay to laugh at yourself...and frequently if you must. Chances are, those that are watching in confusion while you make an idiot of yourself are probably just thinking, "there goes that crazy American." And in this case, they're probably right :-)

Miss Independent...

Alright...I'm writing this update because:
A) It's been a while since I wrote one and
B) it was pointed out by my friend I call, "King Meh!," that I haven't updated it in quite a while. In fact, I think her words were, "why don't you ever update your blog anymore?" Okay, KK...point taken.

All has been quiet on the eastern front for the last two months. We've had a break at the Day Center for August and September. August is vacation month for Europe, so a lot of people take holiday during that time. Wait a sec? Did I just say, "holiday" like a Brit? Something's rotten in Denmark. As if it's not enough that EVERYTHING about me is changing...even my speech has to change. In fact, I spend so much time hearing or even speaking to people in broken English when I can't get my point across in Romanian, that's it's really starting to affect my grammar. I mean, crazy things like adding an apostrophe "s" to words instead of just making them plural. And I spent 3 years in the assessment world? Shameful, I tell you....shameful!

However, there is one area in which I'm glad I'm changing. You see, I've always been quite an independent person. (Here's where my friends interject with sarcasm, "no, really?!") Yes, really. As if being born with an independent trait wasn't enough, stubbornness was added to the mix. And in what seems like God's attempt to add a little humor to the situation, my last name is Williams, which I just recently found out means, "strong-willed, warrior." Sheesh, can I get an "Amen?"

It is in the area of independence that there has been some change. I've been fiercely independent from the time I was a child. A picture from my 4 year-old birthday displays evidence of this. Apparently, I insisted upon fixing my own hair and ended up with a part down the middle and two clips on either side of it...very, very close together. I'm sure my mother is looking forward to the day when I have children and see this same trait reflected in them. Lord, help me!

In some ways, I'm thankful for this independence as it has enabled me to do a great many things without hesitating. However, in my latest adventure, it is nothing but a hindrance. It took listening to the testimony of a pastor and his wife from California for the Lord to get this point across. The wife explained how she was an extremely independent person who liked the fact that she was independent. When she got married, she was excited about the prospect of her and her husband, striking out on their own and forming their own little family. However, her husband came from very close family who were always sharing with each other, spending evenings together, etc. The wife couldn't really understand his attachment to his family. She couldn't understand why they were always "up in their business," as she put it. The wife loved her in-laws, but every time they came over she felt a sinking feeling and a desire to withdraw. She began to pray about this, for it was really causing issues between her and her husband. While praying, the Lord spoke to the wife regarding what seemed to be a "spirit of independence" she had invited in her life. In other words, the wife had allowed walls to build up around her heart in the area of dependence. Because she took so much pride in being independent, she was unable to allow anyone in.

The testimony immediately pierced my heart. I knew I was in the very same situation and sometimes still am. You see, I so pride myself on being independent, that I feel as though I can't be weak and shouldn't be weak in any area. I mean, I'm independent! Why do I need people? I can do this, right? Wrong. My independence, in fact, pushes people away when I really need them. Instead of being real in areas where I'm struggling, I tend to act like I can handle it because "I don't need people." In fact, I stick to this mantra so long, that I find myself drowning in a sea of despair. Now I'm not saying that I don't confide in people, I do. I have close friends that I trust, and I share things with them. However, those friends aren't here with me in Romania. They're thousands of miles away, and really inaccessible most of the time. So, I have to open up to new people. I have to be weak with new people I don't know and risk seeming like I don't have it all together. What's the harm in that? Well, it goes against my nature. That's what's so hard.

So I began to pray about it, because I couldn't really understand how I was supposed to deal with this. Where do I start? Well, the Lord started for me...with the truth. As I prayed, I heard God, through the Holy Spirit, speak to me. He said, "Amy, you're not independent because you can go and do things on your own, or because you're not afraid to be different. You're only independent when you're DEPENDENT upon me." That spoke volumes to my heart. I can only leave everything else behind, when I'm dependent upon my heavenly Father. I can only risk being different in a culture where I don't know the language or the customs, when I know that I am covered by the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. That is the defining characteristic for me. So, God gives me independence through dependence upon these things. Such simple wording, but such profound truth.

So I'm trying to give it up. I'm trying to let go of my man-made, prideful independence and am seeking dependence upon the one that knows me better than anyone on this earth. It hasn't been easy so far, but I know that it is well-worth it.

Revelation Of A Different Kind...

It was a few days after camp. I was in my room and had just finished sending my newsletter to IM, my missions organization. As I was sitting at the computer playing a little solitaire, my mind began to wander. An influx of negative thoughts began to flood my mind. These thoughts were about the other team members I work with and their possible expectations of me. I also began to remember all the times I had made a fool of myself in the past week; like times I had said the wrong word in Romanian and times others had laughed at me. It wasn't long before I began to feel the sinking feeling of defeat in my heart. A wave of "culture shock" hit and a desire to crawl into bed and never come out arose. It was then that I remembered my dream from the night before....

The previous night, I dreamed about a very large snake. The snake was about the size of an anaconda and it was everywhere. I was somewhere inside of a building and the snake was hiding in the walls, coming through the vents, and doing anything it could to get to me. It also was coming after members of my family...my brother Jeremy for one. I can remember seeing him wrapped up in the snake. It was trying to squeeze him to death. The snake was very hard to kill...and most of all, it was lurking...waiting for the right time to strike.

As I remembered the dream, God began to reveal the truth of what was going on in my head. You see, God often speaks to me through my dreams. It is not uncommon that I wake up from a vivid dream and begin to write it down. It has been through dreams that He has spoken incredible truths about my family and my future here in Romania. In this dream, the snake represented Satan...and he was everywhere, lurking. He was waiting for a weakness...waiting to strike. Sounds like 1 Peter 5:8 doesn't it? "Be sober and alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour." As God was revealing the meaning of the dream, He was also revealing that the negative thoughts and embarrassing memories were nothing but harassment from the devil. I then began to ask the Lord why. Why is it that the moment I stepped into this country, I felt the attack of the enemy on my thoughts more than ever before? Was it because I had stepped into God's will for my life by coming to Romania? Did it intensify because I was on the "mission field?" "No," the Lord answered. "This is the way it has always been. You just never realized it because your surrounding were so familiar."

You see, nothing is familiar anymore. Everything that I have spent 31 years getting used to is now gone. Going to the store is different, driving a car is different, paying rent and utilities is different, I don't speak the language, and friends and family are not as accessible. However, there is one thing that is still the same...ME. This onslaught on my thoughts and dreams is not something new. It has always been there. However, now that everything familiar has been stripped away, I'm finally realizing the battle for what it truly is...what it has always been. Living in the U.S., I didn't notice it. I didn't recognize it. My surroundings were too familiar to me. It seemed like every day life. I mean, why wouldn't I think about the annoying things my co-worker did to upset me? Why wouldn't I dwell on that embarrassing moment which makes me never want to speak Romanian again? I mean, that's normal, right? Why wouldn't I...wait a second...why would I?

Am I not a child of God? Am I not the daughter of the Most High? Don't I have the Light of the World within me? Why would I think these thoughts if I have the Spirit of the Living God inside of me? Unless.... Unless these thoughts aren't coming from me after all. Unless these thoughts are coming from the one that is eternally set against me and against the One that has a purpose and plan for my life. Are you getting it? Do you see? These types of things are not normal. It may be that you are "used to it." It may be that it has always been this way. But "the battle is not against flesh and blood." In James chapter 1 it says, "when lust is conceived, it gives birth to sin." The battle is in the mind.

I hope you can see it, because it is so clear to me now. I can recognize the attack of the enemy on my thought life so much easier now that everything familiar has been stripped away...and I'm thankful for it. The dream served an incredible purpose and has transformed the way that I look at my emotions and thoughts. I even called my brother Jeremy to let him know what I saw and to deliver what I felt was a warning of sorts for him and his family. I warned him against the enemy trying to "choke his life out." God is moving in powerful ways in his life, which makes him a prime target. The truth is though, we are all targets. There is not one of us that will escape attack. The devil does not give up...he does not relent. He is eternally set against man and especially against those that have a relationship with Christ.

I pray you can you see it. I pray God opens your eyes to it. We are in a battle. At times there are obvious "skirmishes" taking place, but the majority of this war is not fought in the open. It is on the battlefield in our minds.

Your Word Does Not Return Void...

Three years ago, I met a young man named Bogdan at one of the camps for the Romanian ministry at which I am now serving (Joshua Project World Ministries.) Like the other youth at this camp, Bogdan was infected with HIV as a young child at either a hospital or clinic and had experienced ridicule, abandonment, and rejection due to contracting the disease. As a result, Bogdan was understandably sad, hard-hearted, and mostly...angry. I remember looking at him and thinking that it was an impossible situation. However, I was quickly reminded that we serve a God that makes the impossible, possible. Throughout the week, the truth about God's love and Christ's sacrifice was shared, however, it seemed that nothing penetrated Bogdan's heart. So hard was his heart, that I cried out for him one morning during our team prayer session. I weeped as I pleaded with God to soften and change what seemed to be a stone instead of a heart.

This is picture of the Bogdan I met three years ago. In this picture I see the tough, angry young man I met. What I mainly see are eyes that lack joy, hope, and most of all, love.

Regardless of what it looked like on the outside, the team and I could not see what God was doing on the inside. Over the course of the next two years, God continued to grow the seed that was placed in Bogdan from that camp in 2007, slowly breaking down walls and softening the exterior. Six months ago, Bogdan made a decision to give God control of his life, and three weeks ago, Bogdan was baptized.




This is the Bogdan I know today. This picture was taken last week at our first camp of the summer. In this young man, I see the peace, hope, and love that was missing three years ago. In this young man, I see my fellow brother in Christ. A radiant Bogdan attended camp last week. My heart was overjoyed as I watched him laugh with and hug others, but also cry as he prayed for the other young men and women at camp, asking God to change their lives as well.

Bogdan is making incredible strides in his new life with Christ. Not only is he faithful in attending the church plant that has started in our center, but he has cut off all ties with his former life and is surrounding himself with others that are choosing to live for God as well. He has even published a website at which others can learn about God. It's written in Romanian, but I would like to invite you to check out the incredible work of this young man: http://invatadespredumnezeu.com

I asked Bogdan if I could share his story for two reasons. Primarily, I want you to know the importance and value in sharing the Gospel, as well as the summer camps we conduct at Joshua Project World Ministries. Just because you may not see fruit from your labor, God is clear in Isaiah 55:10-11 that His word will not return void. It says,
"As the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

Secondly, I want you to pray for our brother, Bogdan. He is a brave, young man who is choosing to live opposite to the world around him. The world says that he is worthless because he has HIV and that it is hopeless to believe in a God that you cannot see. Even if he wasn't infected, the outlook of Romanians in general is dim. Recently, the government has increased taxes (for the umpteeth time,) even taxing bank accounts. They've sliced the wages of non-governmental works 30% this last month, and there are rumors of taking away the pensions of disabled children, like those infected with HIV. Without this pension, many of them will have no source of income at all.

So I beseech you to pray. Pray for Bogdan. Pray that he would be strengthened and encouraged by others around him. Pray that God would raise up other Christian men to walk along side of him. Pray that he would grow in boldness and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Most of all, pray for his protection. His, and our adversary, the devil wants to destroy his life. He may not be able to have Bogdan's soul anymore, but he wants nothing more to make him ineffective for the Kingdom of God to the point of robbing Bogdan of everything he has...even life. So we must pray.

I hope this testimony of God's work encourages you and increases your own faith in the things you've been praying for. Know that God is always at work and that your prayers DO have an impact. If you are a follower of Christ, you have the ability through Jesus, to stand in the throne room of God when you pray. James 5:16 says, "...The prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective."

So let's do it, let's be effective!

Like A Bull In A China Shop....

Ever had that "awkward" feeling where everything you do is out of sync? Yeah, that's been me for the last two weeks. The first few days were the most ridiculous. So I'm gonna call myself out, on the "internets." (That's for you KK ;-)

First I want you to take a look at my apartment. Oh yeah, it's green...pistachio to be exact. You know you're jealous.



Now, as you can tell from these first few pics, there's lots to be done to make this apartment feel like a home. The green color was so overpowering I hung my dish towels up on existing nails just so I would have SOMETHING to break up the color. The pic of the "living area" on the right shows some of the purchases I made during my first few weeks here. Don't worry, I bought paint....

Now, to get back to that "bull in a china shop feeling...." The first shopping trip turned out to be total disastrous in feeling like I had any control over my awkwardness at all. First, Tresha and I go to Plus where we loaded up our shopping cart with many much needed supplies. Everyone is staring because people don't normally buy very much stuff at stores, because they don't have the money to and here we are with a basket completely full of supplies. So, we've loaded all the items onto the belt and the checker starts his procedure.... Tresha reminds me I need bags (you pay for your bags and bag your own items here.) Duh! So I grab about 4 bags and start chunking items into the bags as fast as I can before the checker, who is basically shooting my items across the bar-code scanner, is finished. I'm basically a wreck. Not only is everyone staring at me, but I have to be finished with the bagging before the scanning is done...or else everyone will still be staring at the American who doesn't know how to check-out while she's fumbling around for her wallet....

Wallet? Wait a second, where's my wallet? That's right, I forgot my wallet. Praise God Tresha had enough cash to cover my purchases. After that, we went back to my apartment to salvage what was left of my pride and find my wallet. It was just where I left it by the way....

The next store was just as ridiculous. We had just as full a basket as the first store, however this time, we held up the line because the pot I chose didn't have a sticker on it. Tresha went back to find the pot on the shelf, during which a man elbowed her and she dropped the pot and broke the lid. Clean-up on Aisle 5!!!! She returned, with both the broken and properly "stickered" pot only for me to realize there are about twice as many eyes on me as before. I have never felt like such an outsider before.

That was the first few days. Now that it's been about two weeks, I'm settling in to my new apt and am slowly but surely making it feel more "home-y." As for the "awkward" feeling, well...let's just say that I'm now smiling at all the staring eyes. There are some things, you just can't fix...

Here are some more pictures of my "studio" apartment.




Re-vamped kitchen. Next, some green plants,
colorful pieces, and much needed painting!

The unfinished bedroom

And to the right, my friends, is the gypsy house across the street from my apartment. I am convinced the owner of my apartment borrowed their left over paint. I mean, it's the exact same color as my kitchen/living area. It's ridiculous!

Kind of reminds me of the wild color of houses I saw on the west side of San Antonio everyday as I drove to work ;-)



Finally, the view from my bedroom window. These mountains are some of the smaller ones in this area. Last Sunday, the McKnight's and I went to a lake up in the mountains. I was saddened when I realized I forgot my camera. However, I'm sure we will be back there again as it is only 30 minutes from where we live. God is good to provide such an oasis in the middle of a devastated country where so many have so little.

Stay tuned for pictures of the "kids" of the Joshua Project who I hope to capture on video and in pictures soon!

The Time Has Come...

It's here...Saturday's the day. It's hard to believe that I'm about to do this. Most of me is excited, but I would be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that thinks I'm absolutely crazy for changing everything in my life by moving halfway across the world. However, it's gotta be better than this state of limbo I've been living in for the last 6 months.

It's an incredible thing though...to feel the grace of God covering you as you take a chance and follow him, to know that he has you in the palm of his hand, that no weapon formed against you shall prosper, and that he is greater than anything you may encounter. Those are just some of the promises that I'm walking in today. When I begin to feel anxious thinking of the problems I may encounter, I remember that God knew the end from the beginning for he is the author of both.

Not only do I feel a supernatural empowerment from the Lord, but I also feel the prayers of my friends and family who are standing by me in this. To put it simply, without prayer we do not stand. There is no greater weapon/tool that God has given us than prayer. I recently listened to cd's from a prayer tools class my brother attended at his church. They completely rocked my world regarding prayer...well, maybe more like revolutionized the way I view prayer. I look forward to what God is going to do in my prayer life while overseas and here's to hoping I come back a completely different woman!

While I am in Romania, I would love hearing about what is going on with my friends and family back in the U.S. I know it's easy to think that I'm too busy or there's too much going on, but what helps the most with the loneliness I'm likely to encounter is staying connected with people. So, please send me your prayer requests, updates, or latest tidbits from your life. It will be great to hear from you!

Change Is A Comin'...

I'm in the final countdown people! Last Thursday, I purchased my plane tickets for the flight over the pond. The best part....it only cost me 700 bones. Yes, I know, doesn't exactly sound like a deal. However, when you consider that most flights on other websites were around $850-$1000...that is a STEAL!

So, it's 33 days and counting. I'm excited to start the next phase, but at the same time...EXTREMELY INTIMIDATED! I mean, what am I thinking? At 31 I'm completely changing everything about my life, leaving the only country I've ever lived in (not to mention, the only state I've ever lived in) and leaving everyone I know behind. All I have to say is (in the words of my friend Larissa)...HECK YES!

I'm itchy with excitement about the change. There's much to be done, including a trip to Vancouver this week to help my team members with some speaking engagements. I'll blog more about that later.

Woo to the hoo!